Muslim, Christian, Canadian, American, It’s All Good!
Posted on | August 11, 2008
Let’s talk BARRACK!
I’m speaking as a Canadian. A Canadian who’s so tired of hiding in shame that I’m even from the same continent as George W. Bush.1
Years ago, a Britain mistook me for an American and while not mortified, I felt slightly like a New Zealander being asked if they were Australian.
For the most part, being next to the U.S. we’ve been patronized as America’s kid brother. You know, running behind yelling, “Wait up! Wait up!” Almost threatening to take the ball home if we’re not going to get to play.
I’ve often th0ught that the one thing that truly defined Canadians was that we were NOT the U.S.
We have universal health care, and yes it’s now in panic mode but it’s still there and I can still go see my Doctor without worrying about a bill.
We allow same sex marriage. We’ve defined that constitutionally. And while I still hear the occasional, “Fucking Faggot!” it’s not on the lips of the average Canuck.
Now the States? Well, it’s kind of nice that they have to play catch up, you know? It’s usually us that keeps our eyes south to pick up the latest trend, music, movie, you name it.
The amount of times that Toronto has been subjugated as Chicago, New York, somewhere metropolitan in the States is annoying and, though we try to pass it off as self-deprecating, is defeating.
And we were pacified because our lower dollar actually worked in our favour. Now? Well the dollar is on par and we’re feeling the stink but we’re also creating our own identity.
FINALLY.
But it’s our fault too. We salivate over Jim Carrey, James Cameron, all of those Canadians who live and work south of the 49th when they’re not really even Canadian anymore.
It makes us look insecure.
Course, I’m one to talk. I do it too. Watch that E.T. Canada that’s now almost like a franchise2 and munch on the latest about Ryan Gosling and his dear Northern ex, Rachael McAdams.
You know we Canadians only ever really celebrated maybe TWO celebrities at a time. We weren’t one for over-gushing about Al Waxman or Bruno Gerrussi, they were just people.
When Al was out of the picture, Gordon Pinsent got his due.
But they remained truly Canadian. Sure Al did “Cagney & Lacey” as the gruff Lieutenant but he came back. He didn’t stay down there, he’s a true Canadian.
OK, I’m WAY off topic here.
TIME FOR A REFRESH!
Back to Barrack.
You know when Clinton won his first election, I was living in a basement apartment in the west end of the city and I remember, so clearly, thinking that the U.S. got it right.
I’m sorry republicans and Elizabeth Hasselback3 but you know the whole Bush winning over Gore? There’s some monkey business going on here.
We all know it.
It’s the elephant in the room, the disease that no one wants to talk about, you know the straight-jacketed Great Aunt in the attic who mumbles to herself and just peers out of the window to creep out the neighbours.
And the Democrats, nice guys and wimps that they are, just rolled over. Bush crushed laws on his way to the top, raped the Constitution of the United States and the Dems were passed off as anti-military, un-American buffoons.
Oh how life would have been different.
It’s said that history repeats itself. Well, “W”, grab a fiddle and watch the U.S. burn as you shoot it down in flames.
Now I was a Hillary supporter. And, even as a Canadian, I pray she’ll become Vice-Prez. I think, even though there might be tension, Obama will need her.
So, from the North, Mr. Obama, grab the brass ring and save your country.
Just, PLEASE, for GOD’S SAKE, remember we don’t have a President. We have a Prime Minister.4
OY! Yes! he actually said that. 5
- is Toby Keith gonna get all over my ass too? [↩]
- are they going to have E.T. Pakistan? [↩]
- who so defiantly defends the Republicans even when most intelligent people know that they’re idiots [↩]
- COCK-WAD THAT HE IS [↩]
- BIG EESH! [↩]
Comments
2 Responses to “Muslim, Christian, Canadian, American, It’s All Good!”
Leave a Reply
August 12th, 2008 @ 6:20 pm
that’s funny because I’ve always thought of Canadians as the more refined, civilised North Americans.
August 15th, 2008 @ 10:44 pm
I think it’s more about how we thought of ourselves.