Da Bears!
Posted on | July 27, 2008
(Please note, this blog is actually a letter I wrote as a response to response of another blog. It’s been edited and changed for the purposes of “blogging”. For the original blog, the response and my response to that response, please go to “bear schmare“)
You know before “bear” became the new aesthetic, or a reemergence from the 70’s that saw “men with fur” as the definition of the masculine gay man, the bear man tended to be nicer, far more approachable.
But now that it’s become the desired standard, there’s become a coolness about them that breeds contempt for the non-bear.
I’m certainly not suggesting that all bears are like that as I know a great deal of them who are wonderfully kind AND sexy1 but I’m afraid that I find the beauty contests - and yes they do work for charities - slightly contradictory to the nature of masculinity.
At least with Female beauty contests they need to show some kind of talent. Some ability that shines beyond the gifts that God gave them.
I don’t have a lot of hair on my chest. Nor can I grow a full, lush, deep beard, and while I love it on other men (for I will admit; -BEAR is my aesthetic) that in and of itself forbids me from a true bear contest, doesn’t it?
When I’d go to the Leather events2 I see these radically masculine men strutting around in leather jocks and kilts and I have to giggle because I can just picture them just before they step out on to the big stage preparing for men to ogle and wolf whistle them.
“Does this jock make my ass look big?”
“YOU BITCH! THAT’S MY HARNESS!!”
Don’t these contests just reinforce the divisions that should have been broken down with society’s general acceptance of homosexuality, or is it a throw back to who we used to be?
I’m in the group, you’re in that one. You stay on your side of the fence and we’ll all be fine.
I’m trying not too diminish these sexy men and their accomplishments, remember, I love “da bear”.
My motto is “grease me up and throw me in” and hell, if I can’t have sex AND floss my teeth at the same time, it just aint sex.
But why do these contests take place?
I guess if I was a hot, hairy bear, then I’d know the reason.
And maybe I should put my ass on the line and find out first hand just what it’s all about.
I just hope there’s a talent portion.
I want everyone to know just how good a baton twirler I am!
Just my opinion.
- and of course that’s the real kick in the ass. Great looking, sexy AND great personality - They just had to get it all, didn’t they? [↩]
- there’s another pageant I just don’t get [↩]
Comments
6 Responses to “Da Bears!”
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July 30th, 2008 @ 1:33 am
Ultimately, Bear Culture has become what it was intended to mitigate: Exclusivity and Elitism.
July 31st, 2008 @ 3:15 am
But is it that “bear culture” has become the “in thing” and THAT’S why it’s happening?
Humility is so underrated.
July 31st, 2008 @ 2:20 pm
I spoke to a tall, handsome man at the eagle last week. He had a slender/swimmer build and no facial hair.He was fashion model handsome.He said he felt very out of place at bear events and that he was made to feel uncomfortable - that he didnt belong or fit in. I told him that it was hard to believe that such a handsome , sexy and attractive man could ever be made to feel that way. He said that most bears treated him that way. I guess it’s jealousy and resentment. Whatever it is, it’s damn ugly!
July 31st, 2008 @ 5:42 pm
It is. And it’s what’s wrong with any group that thinks they’re “off-limits” or restrictive. As Rodney King said….”Can’t we all just get along?”
August 1st, 2008 @ 1:36 am
Rich,
I can understand exactly how that guy feels. I consider myself a bear and I meet the physical appearance of a bear. I have been at bear bars and bear events when I am completely excluded and ignored and usually by all the other bears. I will get the occasional person who will approach and talk to me. I have been told that I appear very unapproachable and that’s why guys stay away. I find a good percentage of bears today to be so stuck on themselves and they do treat their own like crap. Bears use to be very accepting of each other and always had a hand out to help one other, I’m not finding that now. The bears of today would eat their own young given half a chance. Their friendly attitude seems to have been replaced with shallowness and the holier than though attitude. It’s really bad your a bear and you no longer feel welcome in the bear world.
Just my two cents worth
August 1st, 2008 @ 11:12 am
You can put four cents, twenty cents, heck, a whole dollar nineteen if you want.