Wordsmith
Posted on | October 14, 2009
It’s been a while since I’ve committed to writing. Far too long, in my opinion.
Perhaps it’s been because pain or despair has been a catalyst to putting keyboard to screen.1
The dog’s passing, my Mother’s death and heartbreak of an unimaginable pain gives me the breadth and width to speak my mind. When things are going smoothly it’s like I have nothing to say.
So what to write?
I just don’t know, really.
I feel an obligation to shout out to my “peeps” but to be honest it’s more about my personal need to expose my self (loathing) loving that, I guess, truly drives me.
Not wanting to be one of “those” types that only has bad things to say, I try to keep this personal but not victimized.
There’s been a plethora of events going on in my life and it’s about time I said something. But like an accessory to murder, I’m living my live but not really being in the moment. You know, watching the crime unfold infront of you but not actually commiting the crime. It’s like, of late, I’m driving the getaway car.
I’m treading.
That’s not so bad but at the same time it feels almost like dancing in oblivion. Which, again, aint so bad. At least there’s music. Well, in my head anyway.
So I’m going back to school, which at 42 is easy and hard all at once. Hard in the sense that going to school (one day a week) and still commiting to my full time job does take energy out of me. Drains me and I get stressed during the week with homework and essays.2
But now I find that it’s easier because I have the focus that I never had in highschool. I’m actually enjoying the ?reading process. And relishing, for the most part, the suggested literature. I’m even reading things I don’t need to in order to get a better understanding of the whole picture.
The teachers are nice. Well thought out, good sense of humour and well versed in the topic.
In short, they make me think.
So the blogging has taken a back seat and while I’m always thinking of things to write, sitting down and actually getting to it is hard.
I’ll try to be better but I can’t make any promises.
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